Word-of-mouth is usually how beauty recommendations spread, especially skincare products. Because finding the right sunscreen can be so damn difficult, chances are you decided to look in-network, ask a friend whose opinion you respect, or search up recommendations from an influencer you follow. So, one could assume that the sunscreen you choose to slather all over your face says something about who you are, or at least, the kind of person you want to be. Some people say that it’s impossible to have our multifaceted personalities whittled down to signifiers based on what we buy, and though that is probably true, where’s the fun in that?? So, in the name of entertainment, we decided to decode what your favorite sunscreen says about you.
Ultra Dry-Touch Sunscreen SPF 55
You started watching Hyram on TikTok during quarantine and got hooked on this SPF. Speaking of TikTok, you love scrolling through the clean girl aesthetic hashtag with the hopes of finally nailing the slicked-back bun. You still request Hailey Bieber nails when you go to the salon and you’re (slowly) making your way through the Goop cookbook.
Unseen Sunscreen SPF 40
Your go-to happy hour order is a spicy skinny margarita and you listen to The Daily every morning on your commute to work (you can’t imagine starting your day without it). Even though no one explicitly asked you, you have THOUGHTS on Scandoval and will share them with anyone and everyone. Every time the Reformation newsletter hits your inbox, you can’t help but click through, even though you swore you were on a shopping fast.
Anthelios Sunscreen
This is the girl who has 23 red lipsticks and swears they all look different. You have a separate Instagram account for your ~artsy~ film camera pictures and your go-to cocktail is a French 75. You have an extremely distracting bracelet stack on your left arm that loudly clangs during your #HotGirlWalks. You subscribe to Politico Playbook but never manage to actually read it and you’re at Art Basel Miami Beach every year. You’re an undercover Swiftie and you lowkey think loving pasta is a personality trait.
Self Reflect Probiotic Moisturizing Sunscreen Zinc Oxide SPF 32
You have an Our Place Everything Pan that you bought after subscribing to NYT Cooking. You used to have a Wing membership but you keep that fact on the DL. On your nightstand, you can find a copy of My Year of Rest and Relaxation—which you bought for the cover. You have Sephora Rouge status and you stay up until midnight to secure a Resy reservation at your favorite restaurant.
UV Clear Broad-Spectrum SPF 46
At work, you’d rather hop on a quick call than send an email. You’re not a hundred percent sure how you feel about your corporate job so you’re considering taking the LSAT in the fall. You iron everything—even your jeans—and you love telling people that you’re not really that into watching reality TV.
Chardonnay Oil SPF 30 Sunscreen
Back in middle school, you were Tumblr famous and you consider yourself to be an Eve Babitz girlie instead of a Joan Didion one. You’re late to your own birthday party every year and on Mother’s Day, you love sharing your mom’s glamor shots from when she was a model on social media even though she doesn’t have an account. You’re always telling people you’ve just met about your life-changing experience in Mexico City last summer and you’re somehow always going through a breakup.
Supreme Screen SPF 50+ Hydrating Sunscreen
This sunscreen doesn’t ship to the US and you’re quick to remind people of that whenever they ask what SPF you use. Sharing stills of foreign language movies on social media is the bulk of your social media presence. You prefer the London Review of Books to the New York Review of Books and you know how to scam your way into a hotel pool abroad. You’re always traveling, to the point where people begin to wonder if you actually have a real job. You have a chic, minimalist wardrobe but somehow you still only drink Starbucks.
Sheer Touch Lotion Sunscreen SPF 30
You were a lifeguard in middle school just so you could sneak your friends into the pool and you have an apartment in the West Village but you consider yourself to be bicoastal. You looooove The Bungalow Santa Monica (yes, still) and you still have your sorority t-shirts from USC. When you say you read an article, what you really mean is that you watched a TikTok about it.
No Sunscreen
You are chaotic!! And you embrace it. You have a daily Diet Coke and your go-to karaoke song is Livin’ on a Prayer. You’re constantly telling people that your grandma never wore sunscreen and she lived to be 97. Your parents are worried about you—go ahead and give your mom a phone call.
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